[ Stories ] [ Jeromy and the Zombie ]

Jezzer and the Zombie

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play

"So what exactly are you doing here?"

But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces

"Managing. Overseeing. Supervising."


"Do you like my new suit?"

"No, you look like a llama."

"I'll cool your ardor."

"I know what this place needs."

So Zombie Jeromy bought a Jelly Bean plant.

"Yup, that works... hothothot!"


He did eventually try a bean.

"He bought a plant - yes, a little shrub with coloured beans on it."

"Of course you have my vote, Senator."

"No, he's a zombie, so he's classed as a llama. In other words, he doesn't get to vote, therefore not of interest to you."

Crescent Cove Festival.

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promised myself to treat myself

Not sure the tiger look works on zombies.

They went to see Kawab performing.

Jeromy "What would get my vote is more frequent rubbish collections."

Leann "Why do people always say that?"

Tried to chat up a former lodger.

"I've told you before... stay away from me!"

Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

Local off-duty policewoman Hinhanni happened to be passing by.

Local off-duty policewoman and heroine Hinhanni! She and Zombie put out the fire.


It spread THROUGH the wooden walls and door and onto the top-quality leather catbed?

"No! The cats need this bed!"

"I got this." Thinks: Are all the firemen this hot?

"YOU did that."

Zombie Jezzer stood there, butter wouldn't melt.

"That would fell an ox at fifty paces."

"Haven't you worked it out yet? I'm your Tragic Clown!"

"And I love you, by some definition of the word. I think it means torment. Have some roses."

Leaving me to doubt
All about God and His mercy
For if He really does exist
Why did He desert me

"And you were sucking up to that er - that POLITICIAN - at the Festival."

"Her name was Leeann."

"I don't want you here any more. You're nothing more than a bug."

"I don't care if you were sent by the Dragon, go!"

Puzzled, Zombie Jeromy went to the bathroom to reassure himself.

"Who da man? YOU da man."

And he vanished up his own arras 1.

"Is he gone? He's gone!"

May as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally 2


1. Arras is Shakespearean English. Yes, there should have been a tapestry there. All bathrooms should have a tapestry.

2 Thanks to Gilbert Osullivan - Alone Again (naturally)


I was having such fun with the zombie. But my game kept crashing. Possibly because of there being TWO Jeromies. So he's exorcised, at least from Jeromy's presence; but he will be back.


Sita August 23, 2014