Stories ] [ Rohina Butt ]


"Hello Jesslla! Long time no hear. How are you and - Mo was it?.... Good... oh. A baby? Why didn't you tell me? Well, no, I wouldn't have been that interested, you're right. You called her WHAT? Poor kid."

"Mo back from his travels for a bit? He does spend a great deal of time away. Well I guess there's nothing much to keep him here. He's significantly younger than you, just as Cornelius is younger than I. And you've had your hair tinted back to its original colour - or something approaching it? No, it looks - very nice. Which hairdresser? Oh, yes, I suppose I had better meet the brat - I mean your daughter. Oh! She looks just like her father. Nothing of you. Well, it's only skin-deep. Well, yes, the purpose of my visit. I actually wondered if I might obtain some pomegranates from you? You have a farm and - thank you. Oh I should help myself, you have to feed the spawn. Will do, thank you very much. Oh, hello Mel."

Rohina: "I'm not pregnant. Just hungry! And maybe need more exercise."

"It's getting dark early. Weather must be changing. At least it will save me watering all these. There was nothing on the weather forecast. But then they never get it right."

"What are those retarded neighbours all hanging around for? Shouting too. I'm not interested in your silly neighbourhood barbecue. I might live here, but why would I want to spend time with people like that? They can't tell their asses from their elbows."

"Oh! It's a meteorite!"

"Why didn't those stupid idiots tell me? It's coming this way!"


"Am I still here? I am still here. All my bits intact. Now, walk slowly into the house. Don't run, with all the neighbours watching."

"Legs stiff and numb. Skin crispy and grimy. Think bath. Get in bath. And where's that Cornelius got to? He should be looking after me!"

"My table! How the. What the. How did that get in here? It came through the window without breaking it - or the roof - without breaking that."

"But it's on FIRE! My table! Save my table!"

[Pause for fire dance.]

"Corny, DO something!"

"Save my table!"

"I'm more worried about the house. Call the fire brigade!"

And now the sprinklers came on.

"It cost §750 just to repair the telescope. Then there's the table, the curtains... How is §468 helpful?"

"We can sell the meteorite. Let me get on eBay. There you go, §3,200. Plus the small ones and the scrap."

"The maid ran away in the middle of all that - there's major cleaning to do. All yours, Corny, I'm going for a bath."

"Rohina, I am glad you survived. And are you pregnant?"

[ Thorns and Stones ]