Stories ]

Seas, Bees and Adventures

In due course, Hyprekia married Jenni. They moved out and bought a little cottage in Hinckley Village. Jenni decided she had had enough of police work and wanted to be a chef, and he was still an apprentice fortune teller so they had little income, but that didn't matter because he had his share of the Snape joint inheritance. She was quickly pregnant, and produced a baby son, Simismus.

After the wedding, Sarcasmus had a couple of days off work. He still believed the right person for him was out there somewhere and, encouraged by his brothers, decided it was time to follow up some of his online chat partners.

He asked Beulah out. She said no, then turned up anyway. What she hadn't told him was that she was already married to Darren Dreamer. Sarcasmus has very strict views on marriage, so relegated her to the Friend Zone.

Yuna Tanner was next on his list, and they got on very well. He really liked Yuna, though she was a lot younger than him. She was flirty, like her mother Aya.

"I'm so sorry, I've really enjoyed spending time with you but I have to go to work - it's my first day as a Roadie! Please can we meet again soon?"

She worked at the New Globe Theatre in town.

This reconstruction of a very old theatre looked right out to sea, and the views from there were magical.

Even when it was raining, as it did 4 days in 5. "Red sky at night, shepherd's delight."

One warm afternoon in summer, their brothers' maid, Grady Elfman, was attacked by the bees. He was quite badly stung and collapsed. "You just need to sleep it off," said Jess. "We've plenty of room, we'll put you in Hyprekia's bed." So he stayed over. And stayed over.

Sarcasmus invited Yuna for dinner, and Jess and Grady were so delighted to have female company that they wouldn't leave the couple alone.

[Out-take: Sarcasmus welcoming Yuna's {cough} blouse.]

Sarcasmus finally asked Yuna to come and look at the garden with him.

"Oh!" Jess leapt up. "Let me show you my bees! And the acanthus..."

Yuna very firmly explained to Jess that she didn't want to look at his bees, specially after Grady had been so badly stung.

They did manage to watch the stars, which gave them a chance of a little alone time out there.

"I love being around you, Sarcasmus."

"I'm astonished, and delighted. I would have thought the age difference-"

"It doesn't matter. The normal rules don't seem to apply to people like us, somehow."

Jess came out of the kitchen door, backwards. "Dinner is ready" he announced. "And I am NOT LOOKING."

Of course she did stay over, the first of many times.

In the morning, she headed for the garage. "I'll see you off to work".

"Chat me tonight?"

He was thinking his hands were cold...

Regretfully he looked at his car. "I'm afraid I do have to go into work. I'm very sorry. An important meeting..."

He took a deep breath. "But meanwhile..."

Doing the move exactly as Hyprekia had taught him, he twirled her and dipped her. She looked surprised and then totally delighted.

"Something to remember!"

Yuna stayed for breakfast a few times after that. But every time, Grady would tease.

"Isn't it time you went home?" asked Sarcasmus.

"Oh, Jess and I decided I would stick around a bit, and be your live-in housekeeper."

"Oh. So I am relieved from dishwasher-filling duty?"

"Of course!"

"I'm sure I shall find something productive to do with the time. More Stink Juice Potion?"

To be continued.