Sarcasmus, in spite of his grumpy personality, liked the partner he had been allocated at work in the Forensics Department of Whistlestop Police Department, Jenni Wray, and wondered whether she might consider a date. Since it was Valentine's Day. He realised he didn't know anything about her, and would need to do some research! "I can do that."
He invited her to the Pirate Pub, a tiny local hangout at the seafront, right next door to the local branch of Flying V's.
"Sarcasmus! Nice to see you out of work for once!"
He couldn't get his mind off the one question he really wanted to ask, but dared not, which was "Do you know you have a gaping tear in your skirt?"
He coughed. "I brought you some flowers. Cosmos sulphureus."
She wasn't expecting that!
The bar was unstaffed, so he went and made them some drinks.
"Sarcasmus, you look right at home behind a bar."
"Oh, it's not that different from making potions."
She enjoyed talking about work. A plus where he was concerned.
"And you should have seen his face when I put the cuffs on him!"
He showed her his favourite Grumpy Cat video.
Note investigator at the bar, (Ginevra Carroll in disguise, complete with long blonde wig) listening intently to their gossip.
And Sheila Petz at the bar having a drink, while Jenni said "Yeeeowrg," and he replied "Farbl."
By which conversation Sarcasmus confirmed that she was both flirty and single! He tried not to show his delight too much.
She spontaneously gave him a hug, and then, feeling hungry, they ran through the rain to Flying Vs next door.
By the time they came out, full of generic meat and two veg, Stacey Wong had collapsed right outside the restaurant's door, and Darren Dreamer, local fireman, was panicking. Sarcasmu, a little taken aback, got a bit of a bump from the door but was the only one to remain calm.
"We'll go and get help. Why don't you - er - phone somebody?" Jenni and Darren ran off to get help in different directions, leaving him to deal with Stacey, while trying not to look at her very undignified position.
"There's a pretty girl here unconscious on the ground. I think someone should come and help her."
Behind him, Stacey got up, said "I heard what you said, sweet..." And promptly fainted again.
When she came round, they chatted a little, sheltering from the heavy rain under the awning of Flying V's.
"Are you the brother of Hyprekia and Jess? The wierd people doing all that work on Seagull Cottage?"
"Evidently; they are my younger brothers."
"Jess looks really nice. I'ld like to get to know him."
"How disappointing. He's pretty shy."
There was an awkward gap in the conversation.
A Townie ran past...
"It does rain all the time here, doesn't it? Do you think you'll be all right going home?"
"Sure." She got on her bike and began to wobble down the road - "Are you sure you're safe on that?"
"It's over," he said. And went home.